turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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