ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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