someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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