I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
