i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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