the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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