What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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