If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
