used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
