oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
