I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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