i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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