we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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