i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
