I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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