please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this beer tastes like vomit already
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
