The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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