i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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