Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
