I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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