i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
