i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
