the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
