i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The air was thick with penises
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
