I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
