I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
