Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
