I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
