Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
