He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Who put my cat in the fridge?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
