after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
