How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
