He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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