Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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