break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
