I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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