I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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