She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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