Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
