Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't deserve a penis
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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