if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
