Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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