He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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