she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
NoShamevember. You game?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
