you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
