Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
