We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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