I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
