I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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