Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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