I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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