How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
