So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
