Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
