i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
