I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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