Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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