if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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