My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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