Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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