with your own penis?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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