i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
