nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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