Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
